Reality - Broken Down

Wow, that play on words of my blog title is pretty funny to me today.  My life, on the run... boy have I been running...  And not physically. Run, who runs? I haven't run more than 10 miles in the last month.

Wanna talk reality? Let me break it down for you while I have a breakdown of my own sorts. I'm a perfectionist. I'm a work-aholic. I'm a contradiction. I feel like if I can just keep tweaking my schedule - sleep less, get up earlier, dress better, watch less TV, eat healthier, work harder, run farther - blah blah that it will all fall into place and life will just be this amazing thing.

With our travel schedule, routines are shattered. You can't be in the middle of Wyoming or Indiana for 30+ days and expect life to be regimented or normal. I think I've been home maybe 15 days since the beginning of April. I can't even name all the places I've been this year and every time I turn around another show gets added to the calendar. I worked in Reno for 3 weeks. Drove home and left for Indiana the next day. (Worked for 47 days straight!) Came home for a week, right back at work the next day. Enjoyed a weekend off and then change gears, pack again and off to Wyoming. After another 35 days of straight work, I made the 24+ hour drive home to celebrate my 35th birthday.  I've never been in more crisis.

Since April I've worked sun up to sun down and out of town. I've aged, I've gained weight, I've lost muscle mass, I've missed my best friends birthdays, my other good friends bridal shower, my other best friends engagement party. Hell, even my grandma died while I was away. I look at my calendar and cry. How can I do it all? How do these people do it all? I want to do it all!!

So I hunker down again. Get up earlier, work smarter and harder, save more money, spend less, call your friends, watch less TV, ready the Great Gatsby, eat out less... what's the key? How can I just .get. ..there.. ... ???

I was hoping writing all this down would help sort it out in my head. It did not. HA HA And now, you know what's looming? My goal to run 2 full marathons this November. I need to run 14 miles when I'm in Nevada.  18 miles when I'm in Washington.  20 miles when I'm in Atlanta to keep up with my schedule.  UHHHH, what???

This just makes me want to take a nap, eat some chips, and sit on my ass and watch TV... you know - ZONE OUT!  But nope, gotta go downstairs and finish setting up for grandmas memorial. (I'm making all the appetizers and sides for 15 peoples) Drink another red bull and head out to a friends bachelorette party. Drink another red bull and head out to our weekend RV show to pack up my stuff. Sleep a wink, Get up a 4 am to run 5 miles, drink another red bull, head to work, then come home and start packing again for another trip.  They say "No rest for the wicked" - well I had NO idea that I was so very very bad....